If a friend or family member is ill they get sympathy but not if they are clinically depressed. Why is this ?

I have suffered from clinical depression for about six years or so. This was triggered by being ordered ,literally under pain of death ,to give up my part-time consultancy work.together with the unexpected death from cancer of my two older brothers All of that occuredin the space of about five months.


With a mixture of psychiatric support,family support, medication, and regular exercise I now have periods of good times but also bad times.





I read Psychology for my degree and have a reasonable understanding of what is going on. But it doesn't stop me being ill.


Forty years ago when I was studying , the model of the brain cell was the simplistic idea of a chemical cell activated by electrical impulses. Modern research suggests that the cell is more like a mini computer which is part of a gigantic network.


Are the depressed the new underclass. Should we ask or demand more publicity. Should we ask the NHS to address the problem with education to raise awareness of employers and public

If a friend or family member is ill they get sympathy but not if they are clinically depressed. Why is this ?
Absolutely - I have been ill for 3 years, but I never see friends or family anymore.





I am more disappointed with my family. I have a younger brother who has been mentally disabled from birth and we have all always understood his needs and limitations.





I was the bright one in the family doing extremely well until I became ill and no one visits or contacts me now. In the very rare phone calls - the alwas say oh are you still ill.





It s though they cannot accept that things have changed for me.





It would be great if work was done to raise awareness of of how mental health can affect people.
Reply:Hi I too suffer with depression and have done for many years. I,m on an all time low at the moment, having counselling and on a different anti-depressant. I keep getting told I have lots of support, which I do from my close family and my partner but when it comes to work they think that because they can,t see an injury that I,m fit and well. This annoys me so much, I wouldn,t wish depression on anyone. I just keep thinking of the good days and hope they become more frequent than the bad days, but at the minute the bad days are out numbering the good. I wish I could get a grip of myself and give me a shake and a slap so I would wake up and be back to my "normal" me. I do think there should be more publicity on depression and the affects it has on peoples lives and yes employers should be made more aware of how this clinical disease affects there work force. From one depressed friend to another take care and chin up Alison
Reply:i think its because people dont understand the illness. people are beginning to recognise it as some sort of illness, but they think that a course of anti-depressants will cure it, in the same way as a course of antibiotics will treat an infection or something.





few people realise that this is something that stays with you for years,and perhaps even for life. ive been suffering from depression for just about 6 months now, and my parents think im over it. but there are stil times when i feel really depressed and everything.





i just think more education is needed for people to be able to understand what were all going through!
Reply:I have often wondered if awareness would bring about a clearer understanding to those who have never been clinically depressed. My conclusion is that... I doubt it would make any difference. They simply do not understand. They are accustomed to the world where if something is wrong there is a simple solution. That just isn't true when you're depressed. I've been told "Just get up, shower, and make yourself get out." "You're responsible for your own emotions, you need to snap out of it." "You've seen a doctor, you must not be taking your medicine." "Just stop it. Stop whining. You have nothing to whine about." I wish for one day they could live in the world I live in. They don't have a clue. And I don't whine. I suffer silently and alone most of the time. I only tell them how I am when they ask, and most of the time I regret telling them then. People who say "hey... I've missed you. How have you been?" don't usually mean it in my experience. What they mean is "Hello, I haven't had time to call and let you know that I care if you're alive so I'm feeling a little guilty and if you would just politely tell me that you're fine then it will settle my conscience and I can go on with my business. If you have something good to say, by all means I want to share in your prosperity and at least pretend to be attentive to what you have to say. But if all you want to do is b**ch and moan about the same old crap then just shutup b/c I don't have the time nor the patience." They don't understand that it's like this f5ck1ng black cloud that you can't breathe in and you can't run from and you can't escape. It invades your sleep, it impedes your sleep, it darkens day, it makes your heart sink and your mind ache. It impales your very being with a searing wrench that never seems to end. You wish more than anyone else possibly could that you would awaken one morning to find the blackness gone and that it would NEVER encroach upon your soul again. It steals your dreams. It destroys your life. You cannot function. It doesn't matter how hard you try. It is a monster that lives within you. How could they understand it when they have never seen it? People have so little faith in what they cannot see. It is easier to blame the person than it is to believe in something that is so cruel, so dark, so deep and so seemingly unconquerable. If you could return to the world where you could fix problems with your efforts or with a pill you too would not understand why someone would suffer without fixing it. Why would someone suffer so greatly and not fix it? They think there is a solution to everything. They do not understand that this cannot be fixed. You cannot make it go away. You cannot will it away. You have 3 choices. You can hope that you find a doctor who is sympathetic and intelligent enough to understand the chemistry of it and prescribe medications that make it manageable (it still doesn't go away completely). You can kill yourself (which they consider to be a coward's way out, but is it? they obviously don't have time to deal with you). You can hope it has mercy on you and goes away. Or... you can ride out the storm. I'd like to see them live with a life sentence like that. Talk about baggage... How could they understand that? How? They'd have to believe in something they cannot see and accept that there is no discernable solution. We have a hard time accepting that reality and we live with the beast. How could they possibly accept it? We live in a different world. The only way I have ever found to try to show someone what it is like in our world is the movie "What dreams may come" with Robin Williams in it. It seems "out there" but it is very symbolic. Watch it. Share it. I don't know if it will help but at least it may be something with which you can relate. Best of luck to you. May you find peace.
Reply:It's easier to understand illnesses, metal health problems can't be seen, so people are afraid, they tend to shy away from it, it's taboo, they are better at understanding, if they have had personal experience from mental illness, hopefully you are attending groups which will help you with your problem. The NHS needs to do more, but I don't know about where u live, but each year, mental health patients have to fight for the little help they need where I come from, this year they are reducing services yet again.
Reply:If you break a bone you have a cast , if you are cut you can have a bandage,things that are visible, and everyone has at sometime had a virus or another common condition and taken meds and felt better in a short while. But Depressions not so easy to see from the outside and can be hidden so well, it is such a hard thing to fight and understand so people that have never been on the edge can only compare what they have experienced themselves with feeling down and not realise it might be worse. Problem with depressions publicity is that the people who could make the best case and raise awareness are the very ones that are currently in the worse condition.


People can only see what you wish to show them when it comes to the mind, and people will only see what they wish to see when it comes to depression.
Reply:Each of us have some sort of issues that sometimes are not expressed, try today by calling someone and saying something nice to them, you will see all the positive response you'll get. as humans sometimes its exhausting to take negative attitute and we give up. When we give love we get love back, when we hate we get hate back. try liitle steps by the minute and you will see the world smiling back.





You can make the whole world aware but, if, in yourself you have no peace, it wont make any difference, I do no think its a new Underclass, its just a state of mind. I've been through hell. Lost my sister and brother when I was young, about 10 of my friends have died, my mum is ill etc but am still happy and accept that its beyond my control and I owe it myself to be happy above all. Good Luck
Reply:Because of STIGMA.


See:


http://uk.360.yahoo.com/greagues2





Over the past few days a major campaign was launched in Dublin to raise public awarness about suicide and its causes.


you should find the information published on my page informative in more ways than one.
Reply:Well all i can say is that people are afraid of the word depression and automatically think that someone who is or has had depression is weak.I get so angry at this,the majority of US and yes i too had a complete mental breakdown and no I'm not afraid to admit it,have suffered bouts of depression to since.Its the only illness where you are treated like a criminal(My view)I was admitted to a mental hospital after my breakdown and far from being kind and caring they searched me like a criminal.Unlike other hospitals there were no get well cards or flowers.The ward was drab and dirty.To me at that time all i was in need of was a bit of kindness,all i gained was an even bigger fear,a fear of where the hell do i turn to when im feeling this ill again,If your family dont support you.To me the mental health so called professionals should only be allowed to work with people ill with depression etc if they have suffered from this themselves.I truly feel that this side of medicine needs to be put under scrutiny,SORRY! But even after all these years i still cant get over the way mentally ill people are treated.There are a few good ones in the profession,but they are few and far between.If not for my own strength and a brilliant GP at the hands of these people i would be dead now.I feel the stigma of any kind of depression should be discussed publicly,a friend of mine even suggested that when you fill out a job application form dont whatever you do tell them you do or have suffered from depression.WHAT???Lastly as i rant on,we were buying a house at the time and when it came to insuring it as we had an endowment,we were penalised because i was suicidal at one stage.I would support anything that would help highlight this awful illness.1 last thing.When did a depressed person become a PAIR OF CURTAINS(come on now,PULL YOURSELF TOGETHER)Aaaaaaaaaagghhhhhhhhh.GREAT QUESTION%26gt;It hit a nerve with me
Reply:Could the reason be people fear depression is contagious?


I live with someone who is depressed %26amp; he definately does depress me!





Da Judge describes depression as a black cloud...


Perhaps finding the picture of:


"God seperating light from darkness"


might give you an alternative image to keep in mind?





(Please just do a Yahoo or Google image search for it!)
Reply:IMO, people think you can switch it off and on. they don't really understand that it is truly a sickness that needs medical attention.
Reply:You are completely correct.


The understanding and acceptance of clinical depression is still a taboo subject.


I have suffered depression for the whole of my life,it was only when Prozac was available that my life was bearable.I have never told an employer of my condition as i felt that they would not look on me favourably.My life now is great,i have met the love of my life,and we are married,i have a great job ,company car etc.


But once a depressive ,always a depressive.


The taboos of depression need to change,one in four people will suffer depression in their life,the fact is that we are all to proud to admit it.kind regards..